The Time Is Now: The Power and Privilege of Being Twentysomething
Postgrad Diary, No. 0
Welcome to AFTERGRAD’s Postgrad Diary where we share essays and opinions from us and fellow aftergrads on a wide range of thoughts, topics, and ideas pertaining to the postgrad experience. Everything from existential matters like the philosophy of work to lighthearted subjects like lucky girl syndrome or the art of being delusional. If you’d like to contribute a piece to the diary, comment on this post or send us an email.
I.
“We’re not running from adulthood. How is it running to have jobs that you actually like?”
— Marvel Studios’ Shang Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings starring Simu Liu and Awkwafina
II.
“When you're young, you think the future will be one thing. You see it play out like a string of dominoes. You have no idea the things that are lined up…”
— Reminiscence starring Hugh Jackman and Rebecca Ferguson
III.
“It’s important to be open to new experiences. When you lock yourself into a dream of what your life should be, you limit yourself.”
— Never Have I Ever starring Maitreyi Ramakrishnan and Darren Barnet
“You have so much time to decide what you want to pursue professionally. Don’t stress about not having your life figured out. It’ll work itself out.”
We’ve all heard this before. A parent or an advisor shares these words to ease our mind when we’re struggling to pick a path for our life. And while they surely mean well, statements like these — without context — can do more harm than good.
Contrary to popular opinion, our 20s are not a disposable decade. Social media and other content portrayed in movies, television, and music videos have led us to formulate extremely high expectations about how we ought to experience our 20s, largely glorifying the exciting stages of early adulthood. Experiences like partying, traveling, or getting rich quick. And absolutely nothing wrong with highlighting these moments and milestones when/if they happen. However, the 20s can also be a period marked by loneliness, isolation, confusion, uncertainty, unemployment, mistakes, twists, turns, and all the dramatic stops.
Unfortunately, we don’t actually have “the rest of our lives” to figure out what we want to do with them. We have right now. We have our 20s. And what a privilege.
There’s an unrivaled power in being young and still having time to redirect your life. More time to learn. More time to explore. More time to take calculated risks. And even more time to fail. We shouldn’t take this extra time for granted. Now is the time to get clear on how we want our 30s to look and feel. Then execute. Refine if necessary. But a decision must be made.
Author and clinical psychologist Meg Jay addresses the potential consequences of failing to make necessary choices in our twenties:
Many twentysomethings assume life will come together quickly after thirty, and maybe it will. But it is still going to be a different life. We imagine that if nothing happens in our twenties then everything is still possible in our thirties. We think that by avoiding decisions now, we keep all of our options open for later – but not making choices is a choice all the same.
Our 20s matter. Arguably, they’re the most important segment of time in terms of shaping our future trajectory. Of course, we don’t have any personal evidence to support these claims. After all, we’re both 23 and obviously still navigating our 20s. But the research doesn’t lie.
2/3 of lifetime wage growth happens in the first ten years of a career.
Personality changes more during our 20s than at any time before or after.
80% of life’s most significant events take place by age 35.
The brain finishes developing in the 20s.
Female fertility peaks around age 28.
Autobiographically consequential experiences are most heavily concentrated in the 20s.
After graduating from college, every individual is presented with an unprecedented opportunity. This transition can be jarring because it’s the first moment in our life when we can digress from the regulated routine of school. Although scary, this moment is a chance to hear your own voice, listen to your own thoughts, and make your own decisions.
Don’t underestimate the weight of this responsibility. And don’t be afraid to wander down a path different from the one you previously imagined for yourself.
As you start to make choices, these decisions will lead to new options, clearing the path for yet more crossroads and intersections. Sounds intimidating. And to be completely honest, it is. But it is absolutely necessary in order to keep moving forward.
According to American author and cartoonist Scott Adams, 65, “the best part about being my age is knowing how my life worked out.”
If you have the ability to see into the future, please tell us how our lives worked out. If not, well then let’s get incredibly comfortable with not knowing all the answers.
In the meantime, we’ve implemented a few practices that have helped us become reacquainted with our inner voice.
Be intentional with how you spend your time on social media. Take breaks in order to hear your own thoughts and listen to them.
Read books. Lots of books. These can be your secret weapon. No one wants to read these days.
Expand your circle by speaking to strangers.
To be sure about some of this research, we’ll report back to you after we turn 30. For now, remember that 30 is not the new 20. It never was. It never will be.
FURTHER READING AND RESOURCES
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